Le Hot Dogs

Starring Alexander, a Little Blue Penguin

The Little Blue Penguin is the smallest penguin in the world. This particular Little Blue Penguin might be small, but he has the biggest imagination ever. 

                                                          ***

“Monsieur Flippers, do we have any reservations for tonight?” said Chef Alex, waddling out of the kitchen. 

“Indeed we do, Chef!” squeaked Monsieur Flippers, thumbing through his books. “We have a big party tonight! Le Club Fancee is having a meeting here at 7 o’clock sharp, and they have requested something extra fancy from you personally! “

“Not a problem, Monsieur Flippers. We have some good, fresh fish coming in today. I can chop off their heads and rip out their insides. Those yummy insides will fry up great with butter, and I can season them oh-so-fancy for the Fancy Club.”

“That’s ‘Le Club Fancee’, Chef.” corrected Monsieur Flippers.

“Maybe some nice, ripe lemons and sparkling seaweed cider…” mused Chef Alex, by this time completely ignoring Monsieur Flippers. You see, whenever his mind drifted toward whatever yummy food he was making, he seemed to block out everything else. The Little Blue Penguin muttered to himself like this for a few minutes more, checked his knives, and trusted that his assistant would have everything else ready to go in time. 

So Chef Alex got to doing what Chef Alex does best: Searing, mixing, cutting, and boiling. Soon his whole kitchen seemed to be alive with sounds of pots and pans singing their chorus of hisses and clangs, and the smell of many fine fish recipes coming to life. While he worked his magic in front of the stoves, he hummed a happy tune that quickly turned into a very goofy cooking song: 

“I love fish, I love fish!

I love fishy fishy fish.

I love fish because it’s fishy

Fishy fishy FISHY FISHY!

First I cook, then they eat,

(and they do not have the feet).

So I sauté, bake or fry

It’s so good it makes you cry…

FISHY FISHY FISHY FISHY

FISHY FISHY FISH!” 

After cooking up a storm and feeding all the nice penguins that sat down in his restaurant, Chef Alex turned his thoughts to the party at seven o’clock. If business kept steady, he should have just enough of his nice, fresh fish left for Le Club Fancee. 

“Monsieur Flippers!” the Little Blue Penguin called to his assistant, “Let in just one more table, then we have to close down for the private party, ok?”

“No problem, Chef Alex!” Monsieur Flippers called back. 

And then it happened. The worst possible thing that could have possibly happened did, and at that very moment. One more customer walked in the doors.

 

“Chef Alex!” cried Monsieur Flippers, “Lady Stuffington has just arrived! And she’s wearing her eatin’ shoes!”

To give you a little information about Lady Stuffington: She is a very haughty, well-to-do penguin. Very proper in all things, except for the fact that she could eat an entire golf cart in one sitting and pick her teeth with a nine iron. This is a polite way of saying that she is a lady of breeding and of extremely large appetite, and today she’s wearing her eatin’ shoes. 

Also, she brought her own bib.

                 

                 The good Lady wasted no time getting her order in. After a casual glance at the menu, she snapped her fingers at Monsieur Flippers and began assailing him with a list of all the things she wanted for supper. “Oh, HELLO, Flippers. Tonight, I would like to start off my meal with the Fishcakes and a serving of the Fish Fingers. Oh, and maybe the house salad with EXTRA fish crumbles. And a big bowl of Fishy Bisque. Mmm… yes, and the Fish Rolls sound divine… I’ll decide what I want for the next course after you bring me my appetizers. Now off with you!” 

                Needless to say, the Little Blue Penguin certainly had his hands full in the kitchen. The appetizers were easy enough (even if it was enough to feed six full-grown penguins), but when it came down to Lady Stuffington’s main course, things got ugly. She ordered the Fried Fish. She ordered the Baked Fish. She ordered the Fish Poached in Herb Butter. She ordered the Fishy Crepes, the Fish Gumbo, and the Pan Steamed Fish Heads. She continued with the Fish & Grits, the Fish Casserole, and the FLT. (a Fish, Lettuce, and Tomato sandwich – where the Fish is good and lean, and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky; I love them.) At one point in time, she even poked her head into the kitchen and said, “Oh, I will simply STARVE if I have to wait for you to cook it all. How about you throw together some Fish Sushi while I wait, hmm?” 

                It went on like this for quite some time. Ever mindful of the clock, the Little Blue Penguin turned up the heat and got the food out in record time. Lady Stuffington would horf it down, moan dramatically at how good it was, and order something else. The other customers stared at first, then slowly got up from their tables and left quietly, afraid of what (or who) she would eat next. It was truly a sight to behold. It had gotten so out of control that by the time Lady Stuffington was ready to leave (after a gallon or three of minty ice cream and fudgy sauce for dessert), Chef Alex was completely out of fish! 

                “Oh no, Chef Alex!” said Monsieur Flippers with alarm, “No more fish and Le Club Fancee will be here any minute! What will we do?” 

                “Not any minute, they’re here right now!” said Chef Alex. “Get them seated and meet me back in the kitchen. We have to see what we have left.”

                Sure enough, the members of Le Club Fancee were gathering just outside of the restaurant, greeting each other and looking very important. And they were just a bit early. The Little Blue Penguin tore off back into the kitchen while Monsieur Flippers got their tables ready. After they were all seated, the most important-looking one of them stood up, cleared his throat, and announced to the rest of Le Club Fancee, “We have all gathered here in our most fancy clothes, with our most fancy of manners, for the purpose of trying the fanciest of food in the city. And tonight, we hope that Chef Alex can surprise us with his …fanciest… of dinners. Only the best will do for Le Club Fancee, only the best.” 

                Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, Chef Alex and Monsieur Flippers were practically foaming at the mouth trying to figure something out for their meal. How on earth could a Penguin restaurant run out of fish? It was unheard of, and right now it was a real problem. 

                “If I ever catch Lady Stuffington waddling in here again, I’m giving her a piece of my mind.” said the Little Blue Penguin. “Do we have ANYTHING we can use?”

                Monsieur Flippers shrugged, “All we have left are some vegetables, spices, and a couple cases of frozen hot dogs. But we can’t give Le Club Fancee hot dogs! Can we?”

                “Sure we can! But, we can’t just plop them in a bun. Oh no, we must make them …fancy.” Chef Alex got a creative look to his face and continued, “We just need a little imagination. But first, they are NOT hot dogs. They’re going to be fancy. We’ll call them ‘Le Hot Dogs’.”

                Oh, he served them hot dogs, all right. He served all of those fancy penguins hot dogs in ways they had never heard of before. To start, he made them a nice appetizer of Bacon-Wrapped Le Hot Dog Bites and served them with Maple Flavored Mustard. They were a little surprised at first, but seemed to enjoy it. 

                Next, the Penguin Chef served them bowls of Le Hot Dog Gumbo, made with stewed okra and lots of spicy stuff. It wasn’t fish, but he was a Chef, and he could handle anything that came into his restaurant.

                For a main dish, he made plates upon plates of Le Hot Dog Benedict – Hot Dogs on flat toasted muffins, topped with a poached egg and a slightly spicy butter sauce. It looked quite lovely, despite the fact that it was made with a split hot dog. 

                And finally, for dessert, a big waffle topped with fresh berries and lots of fudgy sauce. (Hey, he can’t give them hot dogs, even Le Hot Dogs, for every course, can he?)

                The group ate in near silence, interrupted by the occasional burp and clinking of silverware on plates, until both Chef Alex and Monsieur Flippers emerged from the back. Le Club Fancee stared at them, speechless for a moment, before standing and making all sorts of noise, clapping and cheering. “You have made hot dogs worthy of our Club!” they shouted, “This is eight different kinds of awesomesauce! Hot dogs are the new Fancy!”

                “Le Hot Dogs,” corrected Monsieur Flippers.

                “Well, whatever they are called, we will have to come back to this restaurant to see what else Chef Alex can surprise us with!”

                “It will have to wait,” said the Little Blue Penguin, “I need a day or two to restock my supplies. Four or five if Lady Stuffington comes back.” 

                And they all laughed, and talked, and had a great time with Alex and Flippers for the rest of the night.

-fin-